Obviously the only fair way to come here is as an au pair

September 5, 2019
Issue 
With permission of Alan Moir moir.com.au

I was stunned to readĀ Ā that Peter Dutton’s home affairs department is rife with bullying and harassment.Ā You learn something new every day.

I just assumed any department headed by Dutton would be a happy, friendly place, with puppies running around and flower gardens and lambs and group hugs every hour.

Yet a recent study found that about a third of the home affairs department’s 10,000-strong workforce actively want to leave.

It’s hard to get your head around it: what is it about destroying the lives of vulnerable people, while also being bullied, that people don’t like?

Dutton gets a bad rap, but at least he is consistent. Every single person who wants to come to this great nation is judged by exactly the same criterion: are you an au pair for one of his rich mates or not?

People get angry, for instance, that the government is so determined to deport the Biloela Tamil family. But, as Dutton and Prime Minister Scott MorrisonĀ , it would be ā€œunfairā€ on other asylum seekers to let this one family stay.Ā 

And when you think of the Morrison government, ā€œfairnessā€ is definitely the first phrase that comes to mind. Either that or ā€œfuture defendants at The Hague on charges of crimes against humanityā€.

It’s a toss-up.

A cynic might suggest that anotherĀ way to resolve all this unfairness might be toĀ stop being unfair to everyone. But this is obviously utopian thinking given the urgent need toĀ ā€œstop the boatsā€.

Now, I know, we’ve all heard forĀ fucking yearsĀ about how the Coalition government ā€œstopped the boatsā€, but, turns out, they haven’t.

In fact, the government is now really keen for us to know that six boats of asylum seekers fleeing Sri Lanka have sought to reach Australia since May.

Morrison really wants us to know this,Ā , so as to keep Ā ā€œthe issue of the ever-present threat of illegal arrivals to Australia foremost in the public’s mindā€.

Strangely, this was not a consideration when the Coalition was seeking re-election on the (now admitted false) claim they had ā€œstopped the boatsā€.

Asked about this odd inconsistency, Morrison said: ā€œThe government releases information as it believes it’s important to do so.ā€

This might seem like a disturbing attempt by an authoritarian government to control information for political gain, but it is just like what ex-PM John Howard said: ā€œWe will determine whether the media reports on who comes to this country and the conditions in which the media reports their coming.ā€

Regardless, Dutton says there are no grounds for the family’s claim for asylum — and, surely, there can be no weaker claim than being a Tamil from Sri Lanka.Ā 

Sure, the Sri Lankan state committed genocide against Tamils. And, sure, it is the scene of ongoing disappearances, torture and institutionalised discrimination.

But did you seeĀ Ā where Morrison told journalist Annabel Crabb how much he loved the curries he ate that time he was there? How could anyone legitimately flee such a place?Ā 

Obviously, they are just economic migrants who for some reason hate really nice curries.

Supporters of the Biloela family have pointed out that they could not be more ā€œassimilatedā€ into Australian society. After all, the two young kids have worked so hard to seem to ā€œlegitimatelyā€ be ā€œfromā€ Australia that they even arranged to be born and live their entire lives here.Ā 

You might say, however, the point is not how well they have assimilated. Nowhere in the United Nations refugee convention does it mention the right to seek protection is determined by whether you get a job in rural Queensland and become a loved part of the community.

Instead, it is determined by more minor things like ā€œgenuine fears for your lifeā€.

But I prefer to ask: could they have doneĀ moreĀ to fit in?

¶Ł“ĒĢżanyĀ of the family have a Southern Cross tattoo? Have they posted evenĀ oneĀ status on Facebook about the threat of Sudanese gangs? Have they racially abused aĀ singleĀ non-white person on public transport?

Not that doing all of that would sway Dutton, of course. Nothing would, short of all four family members getting jobs as nannies for Dutton’s personal friends.

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